


Another Day

by jisungfilm



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sad, Songwriting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27779911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisungfilm/pseuds/jisungfilm
Summary: He misses Minho, so he does what he is best at: songwriting.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Another Day

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic in English, I'm so nervous. please forgive any grammar mistake english is not my first language and I tried my best. this is just me projecting into Jisung. This was inspired by 2 songs:  
> \- Stray kids: Another day.  
> -Ariana Grande: One last time.

_**피곤한 몸 씻고 나와서** _  
_**또 재미없는 TV를 틀고** _  
_**흥미 없는 뉴스는 오늘도** _  
_**알 수 없는 말로 떠들어…** _

_**After washing my tired body** _  
_**Turn on the boring TV** _  
_**Uninteresting news today, again** _  
_**Words I can't understand…** _

Another day, another night it doesn't matter anymore to Jisung, it always stays the same: waking up -its not like he sleep that much tho- going to the kitchen, serve a plate with milk and cereals, taking a shower, going to work or college and then try to distract himself somehow, but there's nothing interesting to do or see so he just does what would help him get through this.

And that it's composing.

Write.

Fill a page with his raw and rough emotions.

Vent on a piece of paper and cry.

So he _does that_. He does that with the dead sound of the TV playing the news in the background, he does that in the bus on his way to his college, he does that in middle of class and when the teacher ask him _what is he doing_ he just says "nothing" and keeps writing lyrics to a song that would never come out.

He even does that at 12 o'clock when he can't sleep, and sure as hell he _does that_ because he is good at it and is somehow therapeutic.

It is indeed therapeutic being able to release all your thoughts and feelings through a sheet of paper, so he does that.

_**...제일 중요했던 일이 뭐였더라** _  
_**하고 싶던 일이 많았는데 시간에 자꾸 쫓기느라** _

_**세상에 참 많은 곳이 있는데** _  
_**맘 편히 한숨 푹 쉴 공간조차 주변엔 없더라...** _

_**...What was the most important task?** _  
_**I wanted to do so many things** _

_**But I kept being chased by time** _  
_**There are so many things in this world** _  
_**But there wasn't a space around for me to rest without worrying…** _

Jisung is in his college record studio, he is supposed to record a song for his final project but he can't just get himself over it because his plans were ruined one night, one moth ago when Minho told him " _we need to talk_ ". His plans were ruined because Minho was supposed to sing the demo for his song and he was supposed to come out with lyrics for a love song but he can't find himself writing about the _L word_ , not when he lost the love of his life.

So he just sits on the leather couch wanting to do so many things, wanting to say so many things, wanting to scream or cry.

So he chooses both.

He screams 'til his throat hurts and he cries 'til his eyes are dry and when this happens he goes to his bag, takes out his red notebook and writes because he _wants to say so many things,_ he wants to tell Minho how much he hurt Jisung, how much his empty words hurt him, how he trusted those fake promises and he wants to say he hates Minho but he knows _he doesn't_ , he will never can so he just sits there with the notebook balancing on his knees doing what he is best at: writing.

_**...그저 두 발 뻗고 눕는다고** _  
_**눈이 감기지 않아** _  
_**눈을 질끈 감아봐도 다시** _  
_**꿈이 없는 잠을 자** _  
_**잠에서 깰 때마다 짧은 호흡** _  
_**잠깐의 몽롱함** _  
_**의미 없는 하루** _  
_**그 끝엔 다시 반복 yeah…** _

_**...Just stretching my feet and lying down** _  
_**Doesn't make my eyes close** _  
_**Even when I tightly shut my eyes, I sleep dreamlessly** _  
_**Sharp intake of breaths whenever I wake up from my sleep** _  
_**Momentary dizziness** _  
_**Meaningless day, at the end of it, is a repeat, yeah…** _

He never thought he would call a wet dream with Minho a nightmare but when he wakes up feeling sweaty, needy, dizzy and hard he just states that fact: _It was indeed a fucking nightmare dressed like a wet dream_.

So he sits up on his bed, leaning his back to the headboard and starts to rub himself off hoping it would help to untie the double knot that is on his chest so tight he can barely breath. But with his release doesn't come peace what it _does comes_ is dizziness and endless thoughts about what Minho could've done to help him get off and with that comes anger because he is _oh so stupid_ for thinking that way about Minho, they are not together anymore, _jeez_ Minho doesn't even wanna talk to him, he blocked Jisung on _KKT_ as if their _3 years relationship was nothing._

So he just undresses himself completely and goes to the bathroom, take a shower, eat breakfast and the day starts again with him writing lyrics about how he feels like he is on automatic, only surviving and doing things by instict.

_**...끊임없는 다툼** _  
_**끝이 없는 한숨** _  
_**늘어지는 하품** _  
_**신경은 날카롭고 하는 말은 비수** _  
_**이 모든 일에 싫증** _  
_**어두운 방 안을 비집고 들어갔던 날** _  
_**그 누구 한 명쯤은 나를 돌아봤을까...** _

_**...Endless fight, endless sigh, dragging yawn** _  
_**Nerves on the edge, words sharp as knives** _  
_**Bored of all of this** _  
_**The day I forced my way into the dark room** _  
_**Would at least one person have turned to look at me...** _

He is tired, he really is, he is tired of thinking too much, of thinking what he could've done different so he won't be here on a fucking _dark room_ where he can't escapes. He just wants to lay down on his mattress and _sleep the pain away_ or just you know sleep, but he can't.

He can't because _he_ misses _Minho_ so much.

_He_ misses _him_.

He misses the way Minho hold him when he couldn't get to sleep, the way he whispers his favorite song in his ear, the way their lips feels together, his face, his voice, his thoughts even though how weird they were, _he misses Minho_.

It's kinda stupid he thinks, because he was the only guilty in this sentence and the only one that can not move on.

Jisung was _always too pesimist to even exist_ or that's at least what Minho told him when they broke up. But how could he not be pesimist if everything _just goes the wrong way_ , he always tries but is never enough so he just sulks about it boring everyone around him and making him annoying even to himself.

_**…힘겹게 겨우 하루 보냈었던 오늘 난** _  
_**몇 번 웃었나 그게 과연 진심이었을까…** _

_**...Me, who barely lived through another day** _  
_**How many times have I laughed, but were those sincere?…** _

Of course he has laughed but laugh can be acted out so easily, is so easy to put a fake smile on your face and Jisung knows this for sure because in the last month he has done it thousand of times, and is just so normal to him that he can't even notice and when he does it, when he notice that his smile and laugh it's not genuine he does what he knows would help at least a bit so he goes to the desk in his room, takes a sit, then a pen, open his red notebook and writes himself out on those white and empty pages turning them into meaningful black handwriting pages.

_**...생각에 잠긴 내 모습은 웃겨** _  
_**어린애가 걱정도 많구나** _  
_**그저 할 일이나 똑바로 해** _  
_**휑 한 내 맘속은 다 몰라준 채** _  
_**웃어넘길 줄만 아는 그런** _  
_**모습이 난 싫더라...** _

_**...Myself deep in thought looks funny** _  
_**So much worries for such a young child** _  
_**Just do your job properly** _  
_**Without knowing about my empty heart** _  
_**Just laughing over it, I don't like that…** _

He is at the convenience store he works at, is a simple job and it doesn't pay well but _hey money is money and he needs money so bad._

He just sits there behind the counter waiting.

_He just waits._

Jisung waits there until an old man enters the store making the bell ring, he waits until the man walks the steps between the door and the counter and then Jisung just stands up from the chair he was sitting and meets his guest.

"Welcome to 7/11 ¿Can I help you?" he says putting on his favorite and _monotone smile_ while the old man just shrugs and with his finger points to a package of cigarettes.

Jisung turns around ready to take the package but when he sees the package of _Lucky strikes_ the only thing he can think about is Minho, Minho and the way his pink lips looks around the nicotine cylinder, the way he inhales and exhales smoke, the way Minho would _always_ kiss him after that.

He just stands there frozen with the package in his hands, he stands there until a not so quiet chuckle makes him come back to reality.

So he turns around putting that smile again on his face "It's going to be 3000 wons" he says and takes the money the man handles to him.

**_...그저 두 발 뻗고 눕는다고_ **  
**_눈이 감기지 않아_ **  
**_눈을 질끈 감아봐도 다시_ **  
**_꿈이 없는 잠을 자_ **  
**_잠에서 깰 때마다 짧은 호흡_ **  
**_잠깐의 몽롱함_ **  
**_의미 없는 하루_ **  
**_그 끝엔 다시 반복 yeah..._ **

**_...Just stretching my feet and lying down_ **  
**_Doesn't make my eyes close_ **  
**_Even when I tightly shut my eyes, I sleep dreamlessly_ **  
**_Sharp intake of breaths whenever I wake up from my sleep_ **  
**_Momentary dizziness_ **  
**_Meaningless day, at the end of it, is a repeat, yeah…_ **

He likes to think that Minho still wants him, still loves him, he likes to think that even though he knows it isn't like that anymore. The thing is that Jisung saw on his _Instagram_ that Minho already moved on, and really really moved on.

Jisung wants to do the same thing: _move on_ but he can't so instead he wonders; he wonders _why it is so easy_ for minho to continue with his life as if nothing happened.

He wonders because he can't figure it out himself.

He can't get himself to move on.

So when Jisung lays on Seungmin's gray couch the only thing he can think about is _the things_ that they had planned on doing together and how it doesn't matter anymore, he thinks about the amount of _"I love you" Minho_ had told him ¿Were those 3 words fake? He thinks about everytime Minho told him " _I'm not leaving babe_ " and then he thinks if everything was a lie, he thinks if he's being playdate and when the thinking becomes unstoppable he does what he knows the most, he fishes his red notebook out of his bag.

It is on his way back from the convenience store to his house that he spots Minho waiting for the traffic light to turn red. Jisung just stares at him, he watch how his hair ruffles when the cold air of November hits him, watch how his hand goes to the front pocket of his military green bomber jacket and takes out a lighter and a package of _Lucky strikes,_ he watches how Minho takes one cigarette and places it between his pink lips, he watches how he lights the cigarette and he freezes when Minho looks away from his cigarette and lock eyes with him.

Minho is looking at him straight in his eyes.

_At Jisung._

So he freezes.

He freezes because _Jisung misses Minho_ so much, he misses his giggles, how clingy Minho is, the warm and softness of his tummy, he misses the softness of Minho but he also misses the roughness of Minho during sex, he misses sex with him a lot but he doesn't even think about it because what he misses the most it's _just Minho_.

Jisung just stands there looking straight into Minho's eyes and is right there in that moment that Jisung feels himself break a little bit more.

_Right there_ when a cute boy with lilac hair appears and interlocks his hand with Minho's.

And then when Jisung looks up again, he feels himself _broke even a bit more_ if that's even possible because Minho moved on, Minho is holding that boy's hand, and Minho has the most beautiful smile on his face while he looks at this boy and not at him.

_Not at Jisung._

So he just rushes out of there. He runs 'til he gets home he runs to his room and open his notebook knowing exactly what to do.

_So he just does that_ 'til the clock marks 6am.

**_...다들 나 빼고 행복한 거야 그게 참 궁금해_ **  
**_아님 나만 아직 숨길 줄 모르는 어린애_ **  
**_모두 가면 속에 내면을 다 꽁꽁 숨겨서_ **  
**_"외로움"이라는 단어에 조금씩 무뎌져._ **

**_...Is everyone happy except me?_ **  
**_I'm so curious about it_ **  
**_Or am I the only child who doesn't know how to hide it yet?_ **  
**_Everyone hides their inner self behind their masks_ **  
**_So I got used to the word ''loneliness''_ **

✨Ash.

here's my [tw ](https://twitter.com/biniefilms?s=09)

(just in case you were wondering)

**Author's Note:**

> Well as I said this is me projecting my feelings, my ex boyfriend broke up with me one month ago and I'm now finally realizing how much it hurts, i guess I was in denial, and yeah I'm also mad because he broke up with me without even asking my opinion or how I fucking felt so yeah, boys sucks the worst is that he already move on and I'm still sticker with his ugly ass, and I hate that I still want him back, but hey, sad boi hours are close.  
> if you made it this far, i love you, and you are doing great no matter what DON'T FORGET TO DRINK WATER.


End file.
